Rules Of Fighting
by The-Talking-Peanut
Summary: Ever since Tony Stark showed up Sherlock Holmes has been itching to know more about him; and in this instance, how well his fighting skills are. Warning: SLASH! Swearing, sexual situations/themes.
1. Section 1

**A/N:** This was originally suppose to be a one-shot, but the word count is now well over 10,000 and still going, so I'm sending it in sections cuz I'm tired of not getting it done and finding out if I should even bother in case it sucks the big one. Which I think it does, but anyway. But if it goes well I have made up in my head a sequel, and even a third part (but I doubt I'll get that far). So if you ppl like it so far, do let me know k?

This is my first time writing anything about Sherlock Holmes (although I've been a fan of it for over 8 years now) and Iron Man which I only recently saw. So I'm very sorry if it's entirely ooc, but I tried very hard for it to sound somewhat close. I'm almost positive I failed. I got the inspiration for this from a girl who wrote the crossover series called "Out of Time" (and also the idea of a RDJ/RDJ pairing took over all thoughts, and then yeah.) An ungodly amount of praise to my beta gunslingaaahhh, who if it sounds great, it's most likely because of her ^w^

* * *

"Well there's something you don't see everyday."

Tony muttered to himself when a destitute woman chucked what he could only imagine was human waste out her window and splashing down onto some unfortunate vagrants standing below. They turned their attentions upward and angrily shook their fists and engaged her in a heated argument in which she clearly blamed them entirely. Saying something in the lines that '_they shouldn't have been standing there when she did it_,' which of course was responded with not only a slew of colorful metaphors but an answer along the lines of '_how were they suppose to know she'd be throwing her shit out the window all willy-nilly, and that next time she should announce it so they'd make sure to be on the other side_'. It would have been terribly funny, if it wasn't actually happening across the street from him.

His face twisted in disgust as the smell hit his nostrils in a wave. Everything already smelled bad enough to make his stomach churn, and this was the cherry on top. He coughed and maneuvered his jacket over his mouth and nose in a futile attempt to keep the bombarding stench of the streets from his senses. Everything smelled of urine, feces, and something else he couldn't identify. With his other hand he checked himself quickly to make sure none of the... _whatever it was_, got on him. He shuddered at the thought.

*

He was starting to miss home with each passing day that he was stuck here. In the past, that is. And not in the 'starting-the-day-over', or 'repeating-the-fourth-grade', etc. etc. But in the honest to goodness past.

Late 19th century to be exact.

And in England to boot.

Through a series of mistakes -- that were not his fault, contrary to what everyone believes -- plus a well placed explosion (courtesy of Doctor Doom) that knocked him so hard it could've put Earth out of orbit, Tony Stark woke up in a time and place where everyone should've been long dead and the everyday household items would be in museums or antique stores selling for high prices. Gone was his house, never having been built yet, and lost was his precious collection of automobiles and computer technologies that wouldn't be invented in years.

All he had that even remotely said he came from 'a time yet to happen' was his collective store of knowledge and, of course, Jarvis. For he (naturally) was wearing the 'Iron Man' suit when he took his little trip down memory lane.

Oh, and the 'glowing-torch-in-his-chest', which his kind--yet infamous--roommates called it. 

He didn't completely dread being here, for it _was_ a rather historical convenience. He just wished someone would have prepared him for the smell of rotting filth and horse manure that lingered everywhere.

Tony thought life couldn't get any worse when he landed in a place where he was never meant to exist, but it did when he was discovered by two locals.

Only they weren't just any locals. They were the locals. The dynamic duo. The detectives of the century. The couple that sprouted countless books, movies, plays, spin-offs, sequels, games, museums, you name it, after them. The talk of London themselves. The ones who made Baker Street and the number '221' one of the most famous places in history;

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John H. Watson.

Tony always heard they were fictional. How fucking _un_lucky could a guy get? They turned out way too curious for their own good. Especially Holmes, who really hasn't left Stark alone since he 'saw' him appear out of thin air. He's been trying to deflect his ongoing questioning since he's been here, and so far he's been handling it... clumsily, but adequately. Not wanting to mess up time-lines by telling more than he should because he doesn't want to go back home and everyone has three heads, or something. Then he won't fit in the future either.

Well, he'd think, at least they're both exceedingly attractive. A pot of gold at the end of every rainbow.

But Tony had another problem; he honestly didn't know how to get home. He and Jarvis at first thought about duplicating the impact of the explosion, but with the materials he has to work with here the outcome would always end with irreparable damage on a large scale. Not exactly a subtle exit.

Then everyone will for sure have three heads, and possibly screech like parrots back home (although on some people he knows it would be an improvement).

So in the meantime he's stuck here until they can work out an alternative that's less catastrophic. He did hear something once about time shifts and catching them at the right moment when they show up, so maybe if he could configure a (albeit crude) device to try and find one that will lead to approximately his exact time period from when he left...

Who knows? He'd both made and done stranger things than that.

*

They were standing in front of a building that once had seen better days, just he and Holmes. Watson had an overload of patients when his partnering doctor took a sudden leave of absence for a family crisis, and so Watson had to manage his workload. He willingly did it, as he kept saying he owed the man when he would do the same to him on account of Holmes.

Unusual dark stains painted one side in particular which led down to an alleyway. Most likely blood from outside brawls. Some street urchins whooped and hollered down the cobbled stones, running in between Holmes and Stark then turning down into the alley. A few of them bumped into Tony, and when for a brief moment he felt their hands on him his first reaction was a hand over his chest to protect his arc reactor. But when a few of their faces fell in disappointment he realized they were attempting to pickpocket him. Thankfully, neither of his temporary roommates allowed him to have any currency.

He watched with a self righteous huff as one of the taller boys dragged a stick against the brick wall. Although the moment had passed he still felt the need to yell at them to '_watch it_', and '_where he comes from that could be considered sexual assault_'. With his one free hand he smoothed himself out. (The other one was still holding his jacket over his mouth and nose.)

Stark sighed as he looked up and down the busy street. He reached desperately into every and any pocket he had to try and find something like a handkerchief to help keep the bile from rising up his throat from the stench that was starting to suffocate him. He slapped his arm down in frustration when he found nothing. Then, as a last and spontaneous act of desperation he lunged forward and snatched Holmes' long scarf that laid over his shoulders, (in which Holmes gave little or no attention to aside from a brief glance at Stark) and then taking a deep breath let go of his hold on his jacket and began wrapping the wool around his neck, mouth and nose. He didn't care what he looked like, the smell was horrible.

After tucking the ends in he took several deep breaths and found the scent difference intoxicating; it smelled of Holmes.

He crossed his arms and stared longingly at the door to go inside, knowing it has got to be better in there than out here.

They hadn't been there long and already he was impatient to move on.

"You sure know how to take a guy to all the classiest places in town. I suppose it doesn't get any better than this. But with you I guess this is to be expected. Hell, maybe it's what you prefer."

He gestured the last statement to his companion in front of him. Who had been ignoring him till that last part, where Stark was rewarded with a stony glare.

Which instantly turned into one of stunned shock when he took in Stark's appearance.

With his Ivy cap on, Stark's face was almost completely covered. All you could see of the man's head under there were his dark eyes. He had his arms crossed and had an air of agitation. To Holmes, he looked like a mugger or a well dressed bandit.

"What? It smells bad out here." He said with indignation, then mumbled "you'd think so too if you weren't so fucking use to it."

Holmes blinked. He sniffed loudly and, ignoring what Stark said and his appearance -- albeit slightly amused by it -- turned back to the door he was working on to get it open.

Although this was the key to open the door, he could not, for the life of him, remember why it wasn't unlocking. He recalled that there might have been a trick to it since it was very old, but what was it again? A yank to the left? Turn it hard while holding the handle down? He brought the key up to his face and frowned, inspecting it closely. There appeared to be no dirt or dents that would prevent it from functioning. So he bent down and blew a few times into the keyhole. When it seemed clear enough he put the key back in and wiggled it around in hopes the lock would finally give.

He didn't want to resort to breaking and entering just yet. He wasn't a common criminal after all (even though his companion now looked like one). He didn't do this sort of thing all the time, and certainly not in front of bystanders.

When the detective turned back to the door Tony looked over the rundown building they were trying to enter.

"I thought you were an expert at this sort of thing."

When he didn't get an answer, he paused a moment then promptly changed the subject.

"So this is where you go to let off steam, fighting in the big ring?"

From his short stay here so far he had heard -- and been warned -- about this place Holmes frequented. Ever since it was first brought up he had been itching to go and witness first hand what goes on in there. A chance to see Sherlock Holmes fighting another man at the top of his form -- not to mention panting, sweating and downright shirt-less -- and seeing those legendary fighting skills at work was not an opportunity Tony would ever want to miss. He got a shiver down his spine from just the thought of it. But he had a feeling he would never be allowed to go, what with Super Nannies watching his every move.

So when Holmes himself asked if he would accompany him personally to that very location, his mouth never gave him a chance to let his brain question why.

"Yes, it is. And we must hurry for we only have I believe less than an hour to-- aha!" Holmes gave the key one hard twist and the old tumblers clicked open. The lock was old and just needed a good jerk to get it working. He turned the handle and took the key out. He gave a triumphant smile to Tony and twirled the key back into his pocket. "There we are." Holmes opened the door wide and with a flourish beckoned Tony inside. "After you Mr. Stark."

"Finally!" Stark breathed out and rushed in. Once inside he pulled the scarf off, took in a deep breath... and nearly passed out. In a coughing fit he stumbled over to a small bar and leaned on it for support. Stark wedged a finger in his collar and pulled on it to loosen it's tight hold on his throat to help him breathe better. "Jesus Christ, it smells even worse in here." The room was hot and the funk of old sweat and extreme body odor was all consuming. He could taste the stale air in his mouth every time he breathed in. It started to cause him to gag and his eyes watered. "Fuck Holmes, are you trying to kill me?"

Tony could see from the corner of his bleary eye that Holmes seemed fine and perfectly oblivious to the lack of oxygen. In fact, the detective appeared to actually be enjoying the aroma.

"Kill you, no. That would be a waste of time and talent. You could not 'die' from this anymore than one could die from listening to you ramble on about yourself. Although, there have been times when it seemed quite possible."

Tony closed his eyes and started to gasp. "Holmes, I really... can't breathe..." He pushed himself away from the bar and turned to make a break for the door. But he tripped over his feet and landed flat on the ground. He tried to get back up. "Need... air... I think... you're enjoying this... you sadist..."

Holmes rolled his eyes.

"Oh for Heaven's sake, come here before you pass out on the floor. Then you'll be of no use to me at all."

Holmes bent down and slipped an arm around Tony's waist and hoisted him up, then turned him around so he was facing him as he pushed him back. Tucking his riding crop under his arm he then leaned his forearm and hip into the other man to support him against the bar while he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a small jar. "I figured you'd be needing this, but was hoping you were made of better stuff to be able to go without. Seems I was half wrong."

As if in response, Tony suddenly lurched forward into Holmes and made a horrible sound as he gagged by the detective's face. Holmes froze and stared at him a little startled. "Sorry. Thought I was gonna puke there for a moment." Stark said as he rested his forehead on Holmes' shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut tight. He won't do it. He wouldn't do it. The smell is bad but he won't puke on Holmes, he won't. That'll destroy any chances he might have with him if he does anything that attractive. This is so humiliating... he slid his head in closer to Holmes.

Holmes blinked. He stood there for a moment contemplating how bad the air must really be, when he heard Stark moan by his neck and realized with an unreasonable streak of fear that the man was nuzzling and sniffing him -- and seeming to enjoy it. Within an instant later he pushed him back then opened the jar and stuck a finger into the goo inside before raising it to Tony's face. He cleared his throat. "Now, if you would please tilt your head back Mr. Stark."

Tony did as best he could and Holmes smeared his finger over the man's mustache, around his nostrils and even a little bit inside them.

"There. Now take a deep breath and tell me how that feels."

Stark breathed in. Then again. And again. Each time seemed to bring himself more to his senses, as the odor of the room was replaced with a strong and more powerful scent of camphor. It was nice and surprisingly effective. "Mmm, that's much better." Stark opened his eyes and found himself staring directly into Holmes's dark orbs. It didn't take him long to notice -- without looking--how his body was pressed against the detectives. "Much, much better." He purred, then winked.

"Good." Holmes gave a curt nod and quickly released his hold and moved away, walking further into the room as if nothing happened. Stark felt a little hurt when Holmes moved so abruptly away, (especially as his hands were raising up to pull him into a tight embrace) but shrugged it off now growing so use to the other man's lack of intimacy.

But if Stark was anything, he was persistent. And he was finally going to feed his hunger by taking this man before the day was out, by god. He had waited long enough.

Tony rolled his shoulders back and did his best to fix his appearance quickly and promptly decided to forget his little stint and move back to being his same old lovable self. When Tony turned to catch up to Holmes, he took a good look around the room. It wasn't really at all what he had expected; it looked like a barn. He had imagined something a little better than this dump. It was about as stunning as the streets outside.

The white paint was peeling off the walls and wooden support beams and he noticed the entire floor was covered in gravel. So, this is what he likes, Tony thought to himself. Well alright then. If this is suppose to scare me off the scent he'll have to try harder. I like the rugged type. I want him any way.

He did live in a cave for four months so the appearance wasn't as startling to him as he bet Holmes wanted it to be.

Their was a small closed ring in the middle where he didn't need to be told what that was used for. He felt himself get unnaturally excited at the thought of what goes on in this place when Holmes is in there: him, standing in there with his chest heaving. Body wet and shining with perspiration. Muscles tense and flexing. Eyes dancing alive like fire, pupils dilated. Adrenaline raging. His opponent bloodied and broken at his feet. The crowd's cries and bangs going near out of control for a chance to get their hands on him...

And strangely enough, that's when Tony noticed something rather unusual. He looked around. "Oh wow. There's nobody here."

A few steps ahead Holmes' body visibly stiffened and his walking faltered momentarily. Within seconds he regained himself and started moving again. Without turning around he sniffed sharply and said "Allow me to congratulate you on a brilliant bit of deduction."

Stark quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I take it you're not surprised by this news. Does this happen all the time to you when you enter a room, or am I not the only one who thinks this place could do with a deep cleansing and air fresheners?" He looked to the side of Holmes face and saw a smile forming there. But it wasn't one of humor.

Then it hits Tony. It hits him hard like a punch to the chest. He falls behind Holmes and nearly comes to a stop as he watches the other man continue to move around the edge of the ring. He eyes Holmes carefully.

"Wait a minute. You planned this whole thing in advance, didn't you? You somehow arranged for this place to be empty--maybe knowing when it's closed for the day--and lured me here to get me all by yourself. Now, normally I'd be flattered with the gesture, cause I'm sure you went through a lot of trouble for it. But you took me here, of all places. Gets me wondering."

"What's wrong, Mr. Stark? Afraid?" Holmes turned his head slightly to look at Tony, a clear twinkle of delight in his eyes.

"That all depends." He took a few more calculated steps forward, eyes never leaving Holmes' face. "If this is for a social visit, and for your own reasons you thought this would be the best place to buddy up, then no. But if my life is in danger I can assure you I _am_ low enough to start screaming like a sissy girl and throwing all this gravel at you as fast as I can."

Holmes reached a certain part of the ring and placed both hands on the top part of the wall. He pulled and the walls swung out like doors. When they were fully open he spun on his heels in Stark's direction and, with an amused look on his face he stared at him with those eyes that seemed to command him to 'come here'.

Tony felt his heart stop for a moment when the doors opened which caused him to let out the smallest of gasps. He put a hand over his arc reactor and slid a few steps to the side so as not to be as close to that ring anymore. He really felt trapped again like in Afghanistan as a wave of dread came over him. He knew he could not beat this man in a fight, and his suit was not close by. So he had to do the next best thing in his arsenal; talk it off.

"Oh, whoa hey. Now I don't know why we're here, really I don't. But it seems that I have somehow pissed you off which would never be my intention, especially if you knew how much I do like you. I would never do anything on purpose, so if this is about your friend Watson--"

"Do not even bring him up. This has nothing to do with him and your... _intentions_... towards his honor." Holmes said a little more loudly than perhaps needed.

"Oh really?"

"Of course."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"And why ever not?"

"Because you think that's what I was going to say about him."

"And were you?"

"Absolutely not."

Holmes paused. "You're a horrible liar, you know that?"

"Yes, I do. Now why are we here?"

"Can't you guess?"

"No, and I already said I don't know. If it's not because of Watson--"

"It isn't."

"Then I haven't the foggiest idea what you want!"

"Come over here."

"Hell no."

"Mr. Stark--"

"Not until you tell me why or buy me a drink first."

"It's because of you."

Tony frowned and raised and unbelieving eyebrow. "It's because of me you brought me here? Sure. That's makes a lot of sense. Care to elaborate?"

"Certainly." Holmes took a dramatic pause and then stared at Tony intently. "It's because you fascinate me. Nearly everything about you and your glorious artificially intelligent armor. And aside from the fact that you are well to do in the future, own your own company, a genius with a keen intellect in mechanics, science, physics and mathematics, lost both your parents far sooner than someone at your age should, used to deal with weaponry but all that changed through a life-threatening experience -- most likely to do with that glowing torch in your chest, had someone whom you had thoroughly trusted for years betray you in the worst way so now has a hard time trusting anyone anymore -- aside from a lady who works closely with you, and considers yourself a hero of some sort who thinks far too well of himself I know nothing about you."

Tony's mouth fell open and he stared blankly at the man before him. He knew the man was good at deducing people but holy shit. This... this was flat out scary -- although it did make him all the more attractive and appealing to him.

He blinked several times and tried to form words as to how the hell he figured all that out from just his appearance. He hadn't told them hardly anything!

But before he could utter a syllable Holmes raised a hand to stop him.

"Please, let me finish. We do not have long before the actual matches start, and I do not want to spend most of it explaining how I know what I know. Or," He waved a hand at Stark. "Trying to get a group of rowdy men to casually understand why my companion's chest is glowing like a star."

Well, that certainly made sense. "Okay. But I'm not letting this go. You're going to tell me eventually, even if I have to bring it up every three minutes like a goddamn egg timer."

"Fair enough. Anyway. As I was saying, apart from those few things you are a complete mystery to me. And since it seems logical that you built that machine to use for the sake of others -- for I hardly believe you are that narcissistic -- it started to get me to wonder what else you yourself are capable of. In this instance; fighting. That suit of yours undoubtedly keep you safe, so I believe on more than a few occasions you have needed to engage in hand-to-hand combat. Is that a correct assumption?"

"Uhh..." Tony didn't know how to answer that, because he built the Iron Man suit with a whole slew of weapons stored in it that the need for actually fist fighting would hardly ever be necessary. He barely knew the first rules of physical fighting, and he -- although somewhat reluctantly -- told Holmes promptly that.

It didn't seem to shock Holmes at all. Instead, the light in his eyes actually got brighter from the small confession. "As I figured. But you know a little?"

"I know that if you throw a fist you hope it lands somewhere effective. I have been known to come out on top with instances like that, sure."

"Alright. Then let us see what you are capable of."

"Okay-- wait, what?"

"I want to see what you already know, and possibly I might be able to help you perfect it a little more." Holmes stepped to one side and stuck out his hand toward the entrance to the ring.

Stark felt a little sick again. "Ah, I don't know about this."

"Oh pah! I promise I'll be gentle with you. Now, if you please, time is of the essence."

Tony hesitated for an alternative plan, and although he came up with a few, he could tell -- by the look on Holmes' face -- that not a single one of them would work. His fate was sealed the moment he agreed to go with Holmes in the first place. He resigned himself to what lay ahead. He hesitantly walked up to those doors like an inmate taking his final walk down death row. When he reached Holmes he turned and raised a finger.

"But you really promise to be gentle with me? I bruise so easily you know, and I don't think Jarvis will take very kindly to you if anything bad should happen to me. I probably won't be able to control him if he goes on a revenge spree."

Holmes smiled. "You have my word as a gentleman that I will be as careful with you as I would a lady."

Stark leveled his eyes at him for that last part. "I feel better already." Then smiled and stuck out his hand the same way as Holmes was, and said "After you."

Holmes gave a slight bow and briskly walked in to the middle of the ring. Tony watched him for a moment than followed. After barely making three steps in, however, Holmes said "Mr. Stark, would you be so kind as to close the doors?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Sure, because someone is going to bombard us and want to join in unless we shut the doors. It is so crowded in here after all." He grabbed them both and swung them closed.

The moment he heard them click shut, something collided into his back and roughly pushed him against the doors. He let out a startled cry as he was pressed hard into the wooden wall and his hands were pinned in front of him. He was squished.

Holmes's head popped into view as he brought his mouth next to Tony's ear. Tony trembled as he felt the man's breath ghost over the sensitive area. When he tried to move a little Holmes pushed even harder into him which caused Stark to close his eyes and groan. If this is what the fighting was going to be like, then he wouldn't have taken so much time to get to this point already.

Holmes then spoke, "Rule #1: Never let your guard down, even around someone whom you know well and thoroughly trust. Understood?"

"Whatever you say, just fucking move already." Tony moaned in a gruff voice as his blood rushed down to his groin. He started to move against him when all of a sudden, as quickly as it had come, Holmes pushed himself away. Tony immediately missed the contact and opened his eyes to look disappointingly at Holmes who was already at the other side of the ring.

Frustrated, Stark shoved himself away from the wall and turned to Holmes. "Look, when I said to 'move already', I didn't mean 'away'."

"Oh, I know what you meant." Holmes studied him for a moment, then turned his head. "Now if you please, take off your hat, jacket, vest and shirt. You wouldn't want them to get ruined during this."

"Oh, so now you care about what happens to my clothes? I never took you for that kind of guy."

Holmes tilted his head down and looked at him.

"If you can recall you are wearing my clothes. The only outfit that is yours is of the red and gold kind which I suggest should not be worn out in public. Now if you would please start taking them off, the sooner we may begin." Holmes stated as he took off his hat and laid it on the wall's edge along with his riding crop.

Stark raised his arms a little and dropped them dramatically to his sides. That was the most analytical way of telling him to take his clothes off. It felt like he was either being instructed by a schoolteacher or a robot.

Too bad for Holmes it didn't turn him off. He grabbed his jacket and started to shrug out of it. When it was halfway off he looked up, and froze.

(TBC)


	2. Section 2

**A/N: **I don't know when I'll get to the next section, but will try as often as I have time. There should be only 2 left after this, and if ppl really like it maybe a sequel :3 So do lemme know if you'd like that ^w^

This section takes place immediately after the first section.

Comments make the sun rise!! 8D! (But seriously, I need them like heroine. _O)

* * *

Holmes had already removed his jacket, vest, cravat and was sliding off his suspenders. The man works fast. Tony watched with bated breath as Holmes un-tucked the shirt and began to unbutton it. It felt as if it was all going in slow-motion. He felt his face heat up whenever he saw a little flash of skin. He let out a long trembling breath that he hadn't noticed he'd been holding to try and steady himself when Holmes slid the shirt off completely, showing his fit, muscular -- yet thin and delicate--body underneath.

Holmes seemed oblivious to his captive audience, so Tony took it as an invitation to keep on staring. He enjoyed everything he saw. Everything he did was turning him on more than the last, even when he unclipped the suspenders from his pants. His pants. His mind wandered darkly, They need to go.

"Mr. Stark?"

_Bet I can help him with that. He looks tense, I know a wonderful remedy for that too. Jesus I bet he's got a gorgeous ass, from the way the pants form around it looks heart shaped--_

"Mr. Stark."

"Hmm?" Tony snapped his head back up to meet Holmes impatient face. The man's hands were on his hips now. Tony thought he looked sexy that way.

"Is there something wrong?" Holmes questioned him.

"Oh no. Just enjoying the free striptease." He smiled at the detective, which grew a little wider when he saw the puzzled look on Holmes' face about what he said. _He doesn't know what I'm talking about. Ohh, this is going to be way more fun than I thought. It'll be like talking dirty with a blonde virgin who brings a bubble wand for a 'Blow Job'._

Holmes dropped his arms to his sides. "Do try to keep up. You're well behind." He turned again.

"Yes Sir. Didn't know it was a race, Sir." Tony stood at attention and saluted.

Holmes glanced at him tiredly, and Stark liked to think that he saw a slight hint of amusement behind those eyes.

But in all honesty, he doubted it.

Well, now it's his turn.

Tony copied what Holmes did earlier by turning towards the wall and finished taking off the rest of his jacket, humming all the while. Next he took off his hat followed by the vest. He did it as seductively as he could knowing Holmes would glance at him sometime. He pulled off his tie in one swoop and laid it down. When he got to the buttons on the shirt he allowed himself to peak over his shoulder to see if Holmes was watching.

But his happy mood hit the floor when it was very clear Holmes seemed to have tuned him out.

Upset by this news he took the shirt off and slapped it down on top of the other clothes with a huff. Tony still had a muscle shirt on with a purposeful hole cut where the arc reactor could fit through -- his own way of showing it off more -- and now slightly burned by Holmes he left the shirt on. Not going to reward him with any more if he doesn't play along.

Stark turned to face him and announce he had finished, and _'hope it was to his satisfaction',_ when once again he faltered and all other thoughts ceased.

Holmes was stretching.

But he wasn't just stretching, he was _stretching_. The man had bent himself backwards, but only at the waist. His lower half stood perfectly still, feet spread evenly apart and straight as he reached his hands out to the other wall. Then, without warning, he swung his upper body back up...

...and kept moving until he was literally folded in half.

As he watched this swift movement Tony let out a breathy "Fuuuck mee..."

Damn.

The man was flexible.

Fit, and flexible. A regular contortionist.

Tony thought he heard his mating call.

As Holmes wrapped a hand around each ankle and took several deep breaths, Stark was unconsciously moving forward. His mind wasn't thinking straight and his heart rate began to pound in his head as it quickened its pace. As he looked at Holmes' beckoning stance he fleetingly realized that he hadn't had sex since he ended up in this time period more than four days ago.

And for Tony that's a very long time.

Or was it more than that? Less? Tony couldn't remember, the 'fever' had taken over.

His breathing became heavier as he moved closer to his prize.

Meanwhile, Holmes had his eyes closed and concentrated on his breathing. To stretch the muscles a little more he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, causing his hips to rotate.

Unconsciously Holmes was driving Stark even further into oblivion.

Holmes heard a strained moan and shuffling of gravel nearer to his person. He unclosed his eyes and turned his head just enough to peek behind his arm. When he saw that the other man succeeded in undressing as far as he was going to but nothing else, Holmes addressed him again. "Mr. Stark, I do wish you'd stretch before we begin. It is a key factor to lower the risk of injuring yourself anymore than what is to be expected in instances such as this."

Stark half-heard him. But his mind was so far gone by this point he was surprised he could even form a coherent sentence.

"Yeah, I'm sure. But you know, there are several different kinds of warm-ups to get the juices flowing, and I personally know one that involves two people. Or more..."

He said the last part under his breath. Although Tony was never a man to lose control (except when it came to drinking. That, that was a problem), he found himself shaking with need and his legs felt like they could barely support him anymore as he stared at the only thing he wanted right at that moment. He was sure he was sweating. His mind clouded with only one thought. He was losing control, and he didn't care.

He'll feel bad about it once he's been sated.

Holmes quirked an eyebrow and smirked at not only what Stark said but his appearance. The man looked like a starved animal. "Indeed?" He dropped his head down and followed Stark's feet between his legs.

Tony was finally right behind him, eyes heated with lust at what lay ahead. He doesn't remember when the room became so freakishly hot. "Yeah." He moved all the way up to Holmes and let his eyes roam unabashedly over his gleaming back and rump. He raised his hands and let them hover above the detective's waist, "Let me show you what I mean." his voice trembled. He then rested one palm on the detective's back and shuddered. He was nearly completely against him. As he closed his eyes and thought of nothing but fucking Holmes senseless, Tony lost control and without thinking let his other hand smack Holmes' ass.

Which turned out to be a big 'No-No'.

Suddenly, right then, Tony felt the world shift. Something grabbed his ankles and tugged. Then he began to fall -- hard. He let out a cry of surprise and the next minute -- when the explosion of stars and pain dissipated--found himself lying flat on his back, both hands pinned out at his sides, and Holmes smoothly sitting down on him straddling his waist between his thighs, comfortably. When Stark's vision slowly cleared and their eyes met, Holmes face was beaming as his eyes shined with delight.

All lust momentarily left him.

Reality's an interrupting bitch.

"Rule #2: Discover your opponent's weakness and manipulate it to your advantage, in order to gain the upper hand." Holmes stated as if he was teaching a class and not sitting on a man's now less-aroused pelvis.

"I'll try to keep that in mind." Tony still felt a little dazed as to what happened, and felt like a real jackass for falling for such a dubious trap. He fucking did that on purpose, the little tramp.

"So uh, do you do that sort of thing in front of all your opponents, or am I a special case?"

Holmes smiled pleasantly down at him. "Only the ones whom I know I can handle."

"I'm just going to go ahead and take that as a compliment if you don't mind."

"Not at all. But now, I wonder," Holmes lowered his eyes down Stark's front till he stopped at his chest. He lifted one of his hands and brushed his fingertips lightly over the artificial heart. "What would happen if I removed this..." He gently grabbed the outer protruding ring of it and, as if on instinct, twisted it.

Tony gasped as his eyes went wide. "Don't!" he said in the same breath as he shot his free hand up, grabbing Holmes wrist and pulling it off.

"Why not?" Holmes' eyes were alight with alacrity.

"Because that would be a very bad idea."

"Why?"

"Because not only would you piss both me and Jarvis off, but in approximately 15 or so minutes -- if I'm lucky for that long -- if you don't put it back in you'll be having to deal with a handsome dead body with a hole in his chest."

There was a pause from both of them.

Tony's eyes widened to an unnatural width then closed tightly as he saw the smug look on Holmes face. "Oh goddammit. Rule #2..."

"Discover your opponent's weakness and manipulate it to your advantage---"

"In order to gain the upper hand, I know I know. Fuck."

He let out a gruff sigh through his nose as a wave of irritation and embarrassment came over him. How could he have been so blind?

"You deliberately set me up to walk into that one. You knew all along that that was my Achilles' heel, yet you still sat there like a fat cat playing with it's toy, waiting to see if I'd confess to it anyway." He opened his eyes and glared at him. "You nearly gave me a heart-attack. Someone had done that once before and I nearly died from it. That was a very cruel thing. To do."

Holmes lifted his other hand and aimed to place it on the arc reactor, but Tony grabbed him with his new free hand before he could even touch it. Holmes looked at him with piercing eyes. Tony was now holding both his wrists in each hand and squeezing tight like his life depended on it.

Stark studied his features for a moment, but he got a feeling that Holmes' intentions this time were different. Wanting to trust the man so badly, he loosened his grip on one of the detective's wrists just enough to let him know he can break free. As Holmes lowered his hand once more, neither of them leaving their gaze off the other, he placed his hand on the magnet. Tony's body stiffened and he held his breath, ready for the worst. They stared into each other as Holmes very gently twisted it back into place.

Once it was locked back in, Tony gave a heavy sigh of relief. He momentarily closed his eyes, breaking their intense connection. When he opened them a second later he saw on Holmes's face a brief glimmer of understanding and -- dare he think it -- sympathy. "My deepest apologies, Mr. Stark." Holmes whispered so softly Tony almost didn't catch it.

But it barely lasted a nanosecond and soon Holmes (including the feel of the room) went back to its usual demeanor. He smiled again as he had before; greatly amused. "I was merely testing a theory I had formed, and thanks to your decisive actions I can safely say I have deduced correctly."

"Well don't be surprised if I won't congratulate you. Even though if it wasn't for my 'decisive actions' you would never know for certain if you were right or not."

"I would have figured it out eventually with or without your help."

"I'm sure you would have." Tony thought for a moment, and then added "You know, you seem quite comfortable up there. If you don't have any intention of getting up any time soon, you could celebrate your new victory by taking a ride on my disco stick. You might even grow to like it."

Holmes frowned in confusion and Tony bathed in his own victory. These innuendos that flew right over Holmes' head were fuel to his ego. He now had a weapon he could use, and use well.

The detective sighed with growing frustration as he looked down at Tony. He rested his hands on his hips which reminded Tony of the way his mother would get right before she scolded him.

"Mr. Stark, why do you insist on showing me you have but a one-track mind when I know to the contrary that your intellect is infinitely greater than that?"

Stark put his hands behind his head and crossed his ankles. He let his eyes roam over Holmes' body and of the way his weight felt as he sat up there naturally with great interest. He drank it all in, making a mental image of what Holmes would look like moving up and down on him in complete ecstasy as he answered.

"You're quite right. My intelligence is superior to most minds, such as yourself. So I naturally have many interests. But because they are far more advanced than your inferior brains can understand, I figured I'd keep my thoughts to the lowest form so as not to intimidate. Like taking for instance -- and I'm pulling this out of the top of my head here -- a 1932 Ford Flathead Roadster and putting on a four-barrel intake manifold to accommodate the larger CFM carburetor, which will draw in more air/fuel mixture bumping up it's horse power by up to 15-25 percent. But that's only one aspect of the scenario to increase the automobile's acceleration, which is quite rudimentary. But, as I suspected from the look on your face, I've lost you a while back. That's why I had no choice but to stick to the basics. Not to mention the fact that you purposely dragged me to a crude, foul smelling barn like a fish out of water just to see how I would fair while you trance about in your area of expertise knowing full well I was out of my comfort zone making it appear you are far superior to myself in an area you already know is not my strong suit. But I'm letting you have your time in the sun and allowing you to dominate the situation for we both know in truth who has the greater intellect."

Tony breathed out through his nose and brought his eyes up to Holmes' face feeling quite proud of himself. But Tony's air of smugness faltered when he saw that Holmes' was smiling at him.

Like, really smiling.

He had expected some sort of look but not this one. He had expected a 'pissed', or 'ruffled his feathers', or even a 'wounded ego', but not this.

Or at least, not like how he was doing it. It wasn't like the other times he'd smiled before. This was soft and very subtle, with real feeling behind it. His eyebrows were raised with a beguiling air that for a moment Tony forgot it was Sherlock Holmes who was sitting on him. The man in question leaned down closer to Stark's face and said with great pleasure, "And there it is."

He did it again. He got Tony to unknowingly answer his question by giving him the run around like he was fed up.

Cheeky little bastard.

He was closer to him again. And he had that look of absolute happiness which he knows only a select few ever see. It sent a warm thrill through Stark at the thought that he was showing this rare side to him.

So, naturally, his body reacted accordingly.

Holmes suddenly jerked up a little with a gasp. Completely startled by an object he hadn't felt before, in a place he probably shouldn't be feeling something, he looked to his side then down at Stark's waist, and finally up to his face again in lost confusion.

Tony just laid there with his hands behind his head, watching him. When the detective looked back to his face Tony gave him an ear-to-ear smile, lifted his head an inch to look where Holmes sat, and said proudly "Ah! I was wondering when he was going to come back and join the party."

In the next instant Holmes got up swiftly to his feet. He immediately moved away from Stark as fast as he could with his back tense. He looked in great distress, even flexing his hands as if to get something off and he started to pace like a caged animal. His breathing grew irregular.

Tony spread his arms out wide. "Oh, don't be like that. I'm sorry he scared you, he's really well trained." Holmes turned his head and shot a look at Tony like he was trying to ignite his head on fire as he kept moving.

Normally that would send anyone crumbling to their knees sobbing.

But Tony wasn't just anyone.

Tony pushed himself up on his elbows and started gesturing with his hands. He finally had the man flustered, and he wasn't going to let go. No, he was going to keep him like this for as long as he could. It was Tony's turn to be in charge.

"How about this; come back over here and I promise he won't bite. We can even start out slow, like, perhaps cuddling and some useless pillow talk? Then work our way up -- or down, depending which way we'll go, and I can then further demonstrate one of my many skills that you seem so curious to know about. I've heard you English can be bleeders so I promise to be gentle, I swear. Cross my artificial heart and hope not to die." He laid a hand over his chest and gave Holmes a hurt-puppy look. "Please? I'll even let you hold me down and straddle me again, cuz you seem to like that." Tony did his best to suppress a smile.

Holmes stood still for a moment and squeezed his eyes shut, fisting his hands. He took a long deep breath in and exhaled it out quickly through his nose. He seemed to shudder and magically calm down. He then turned on his heel towards the man on the floor and walked straight up to him. "Ah, I knew you'd forgive me!" Tony said merrily. "It's much better--"

"That is quite enough of that." Holmes interrupted him. He then bent down and more-or-less grabbed the playboy and hauled him to his feet. He then turned around and refused to make eye contact while saying "You've had your fun but now we must move on. We have wasted enough time on the floor already and--"

"Honey, we didn't waste enough time on the floor, particularly with what activity we could be doing right now." Tony stated matter-of-factly as he brushed the dust and gravel off himself. He was in such a persuading, good mood that he didn't much mind at all that he was manhandled upright. In fact, it excited him more. He felt on a roll. He liked the fact that he was one-upping Holmes, although it wasn't exactly with wits. But, hey. He was horny and this was fun.

Just another form of fighting.

"Need I remind you--"

"To always use protection? Gee I didn't think that was invented yet. Or do you mean that you said 'you'd treat me the same as you would a lady', so you'd rather be the top? Personally I like the control, but for you I can make an exception." He winked at him, but Holmes still refused to look him in the face. Instead he rubbed a hand over his forehead as if he had a terrible migraine.

"You are impossible..."

"Just like a plain country pumpkin that becomes a golden carriage. You wanna see my golden carriage, Holmes?"

Holmes gave Stark a quick once-over, paused a moment to study something on Stark's body, then walked away. "That's it, we're done here. I refuse to converse with you if you continue to act this way. I am leaving."

"Now wait, wait! I'm sorry! I'm sorry Holmes, okay? Jeez, I had no idea you were so sensitive. Don't leave, c'mon. What is it you wanted to do? Go back to the next lesson, hmm? Well I'm ready. Let's do it."

"No, I think not."

"Well, I want to and I'm not leaving until you teach me another lesson. C'mon now. You're acting like a spoiled child who's throwing a tantrum because she didn't get that pony." He took a step forward. "Well your pony's ready, so what do we do now?" _Don't suggest 'ride the pony', don't suggest 'ride the pony'..._

Through all of this Holmes had stood perfectly still and listened. The man was becoming almost too much for him, like he was winning a battle Holmes didn't understand the rules to. Was that how he played?

Since they had to leave soon anyway, Holmes gave in and thought he'd let the insufferable man have one last try and see where that takes them. He doesn't know why he was doing it, but somewhere in the back of his mind he felt it had to do with his own insatiable curiosity at what Stark would pull next. That was one of his weaknesses, after all. Thank god Tony didn't know.

And a small part of him wanted to surprise Tony just like he'd done to him. But how?

Holmes felt old at the number of times he'd sighed since he met the man, and this one was no exception. He soon instructed Tony to stand just opposite of him and a few feet away, which he did without question.

"Now," Holmes looked at his quarry and readied himself. "Prepare yourself."

"For what, exactly?"

"Rule #3."

"Which is?"

"First thing's first--"

"No, I'd rather you tell me now." Tony was getting tired of learning the lesson after the fact.

"Not until you strike first. Now; come at me."

Stark's head was still in the gutter, and that line didn't help get it out. He laughed and smiled.

"Why Mr. Holmes! I had no idea you were into that." A lewd visual flashed into his head and for a moment Tony thought he wouldn't mind going through with this order to the letter, and tell him after the fact that he was only being obedient.

Holmes frowned and felt completely at a loss. What did he do now? What did he say? _And what on earth was so funny?_ "I fail to see the humor in this. I thought you were going to take this seriously."

"No I am I am. It's just.....well, if you were in my position you couldn't help but snort at that particular phrasing either."

"I have no desire to delve that deeply into your mind to understand why a simple instruction could be so humorous."

"Mm, I think you do."

"Figured me out already?"

"Hardly, but I know that when I first showed up, nothing could pull you away from finding out what makes me tick. Even going to great lengths to get me all to yourself so you can pick my brain and see what's going on. Example; right now."

"Yes well, that was before I regrettably found out what your favorite past time was."

"You mean sex? That's not my favorite past time. Oh don't get me wrong! It's up high on my list of 'top-five-things-I-can't-live-without-and-if-I-tried-would-end-up-a-shriveled-drooling-heap-of-insanity-on-the-floor'. I love it, but it's not my favorite. Probably a close second, teetering on first. But still second... maybe third."

Holmes crossed his arms. "Then what is?"

"I already told you. My interests are far beyond what your inferior mind can understand."

"Really? So you're saying that your 'superior knowledge' of all things far exceeds that of mine?"

"Without sounding prejudice, yes."

"I doubt that what you know could be any more significant than what I know."

"I come from the future, Holmes."

"I fail to see how that can make much of a difference. Besides being technically advanced from us now -- which is the one thing I envy about you beyond words -- it seems little else has changed over the years."

"Do you know what a cheeseburger is?"

"No."

"I rest my case."

Holmes was about to say something to counter, but shut his mouth when he knew this was getting them nowhere. They could argue the subject all day, but while Holmes was growing more irritated, Stark seemed to enjoy it thoroughly.

Holmes closed his eyes, again. "Could we please return to our previous activity before this 'discussion' took place?"

"Oh yeah sure boss. Anything you say." Tony felt like dancing. He won another sort of fight and now the man wanted him to go back to the dirty visual. This just kept getting better and better.

When Holmes opened his eyes next, he took an unconscious step back and screamed, "Mr. Stark! What on earth do you think you're doing?!"

"Just doing what you told me to do." Tony had started to undo his pants when he was rudely interrupted by the detective, who now looked like he was panicked and at the end of his rope.

Perfect.

"I never said anything remotely close to that!"

"But you did." Stark was so calm, it was probably annoying as hell to see.

"I should remember well enough if I had said or even meant anything to that degree."

Tony sighed dramatically. "Well see, now we're at an impasse. Cause I heard one thing which I was kinda looking forward to doing with you, but you say you never said that and meant something else which I'm sure is ten times less fun than what I want. So since I'm 95 percent positive mine's going to be a better idea all 'round for the both of us in the long run -- not to mention less painful -- I'm gonna go out on a limb here in saying that I think you're just shy and this is a type of wedding jitters you're having. That's okay. It'll pass once we get started."

Tony went back to working on another button.

"No! Stop!"

"Did you say 'yes'? 'Keep going'? Okay, just give me a minute."

"Stark!"

"Yes Dear?" Tony looked up to Holmes' face, who was staring at him incredulously. His face, body, everything screamed that it was at it's taxing limit. Tony was loving it.

Holmes couldn't believe this man. "So is that it then? This is where we are?" How could this have happened, and why is he letting this man crawl under his skin this way? He had planned it out so well. He only wanted to see what the man could do in a fight. But this is all he gets. Derogatory remarks and sexual innuendos, not to mention Tony's blatant raping him with his eyes that even a blind-deaf mute would notice.

It threw him off guard, especially when Stark seemed so terrified to go into the ring in the first place--

And then he got it. Holmes understood what was going on, and his face and body relaxed. His eyes drifted to some foreign corner of the room as he became pensive with how to handle this and what the most effective approach should be.

When Holmes' face went blank Stark's first thought was that he broke the man, the change was so immediate. But just as that thought popped into his head the detective blinked. After that blink something changed about Holmes.

It was instantaneous and unforgettable; even the air seemed to radiate it in volumes.

His body-language and his entire attitude had completely transformed to what Tony's subconscious picked up faster than his brain; seduction.

Holmes fixed his attention on Tony with the most intense salaciousness he'd never knew existed except in dirty novels -- which of course he never read. From just the look alone was causing Tony to lose all self control.

He froze.

Holmes was stalking up to him with those erotic eyes and that wanted body --_my god! That sensual body!_-- in what could only be referred to as 'carnality'.

The man had become sex on a stick in 1.09 seconds.

_Sweet Jesus, I've created a monster._

---(TBC)---


End file.
